The "Bear"

Earlier this month (on a Tuesday), I was in a work meeting with Blair, an old friend from Rigby.  After the meeting, we chatted for a few minutes and he asked if I was planning on "Doing the Bear" this Saturday.  Do the what?  I asked.

Blair proceeded to tell me about an annual Scout event of biking the Bear.  The Bear referring to Bear Lake on the Idaho Utah border.  He told me that it was a 50 mile loop and if you did it twice, it was a century.

Now, I've never done a century and I've only done one 50 mile segment in a single day - and I thought I was going to die.  He then told me that the event was that weekend and that it was probably all sold out.  Good, I thought.  My road bike had a broken chain and I definitely wasn't going to do 50 miles on my Mt. bike.  My riding this year has been sort of abysmal.  I've done less than 350 miles this year, Never-the-less, I'll check it out, it will be full, end of discussion. 

That evening I checked out the "Bike the Bear" web page and found that it wasn't sold out.  I checked my calendar with my better half and she said to "go for it."  So I signed up.

Friday, 13 August.   I left work a little early, got my stuff together, including tent, sleeping bag, water bottles, snacks; everything I would need for a quick overnighter.  As I neared Logan, I realized that I had forgotten my helmet.  So I stopped in Logan and bought a new helmet.  I wanted a spare helmet anyway.

I got up to Camp Hunt, registered, and went over to dinner when I ran into Blair.  We had an enjoyable dinner together and he told me he was going to do the century.  I was committed for the 50, but a century - I don't think so.

After dinner, he showed me his campsite and there was plenty of room, so I decided to pitch my tent in the same area.  As I was getting my stuff out of the car, I realized that I also left my shoes and gloves.  Major oops.  I can't bike 1 mile let along 50 without my bike shoes.  I went back to Blair, told him I had to go get my stuff and took off for Ogden.

As I made the turn at the T intersection to head back to Logan & home, I got a hold of Jen on my cell.  I told her I was headed home to pick up my shoes.  She offered to meet me Logan so I wouldn't have to drive all the way.  That worked for me, so we met in Logan, I got my shoes and headed back to Bear Lake.

When I arrived a Bear Lake, rather than going to Camp Hunt, I decided to pitch my tent behind the church where the even was going to start.  I barely had it set up, when the cops came by and said I couldn't camp there, but I could go down about 1/4 mile and across the street and set up camp there.  So pack things up again, move and re-establish camp.  It's now 11:00 p.m.  It's going to be a short night.  Now I know the truth behind Friday the 13th.

Saturday 14 Aug.  I was up at 6 a.m., had a small bite to eat, packed up my stuff and moved the 1/4 mile back to the starting point.  People were just starting to gather while I unloaded my bike and got prepared for the event.  As I rode over to the starting point, I met up with Blair.  I told him that I'd follow him, because I definitely wasn't confident in my ability to do 50 miles without hardly any training.  The longest ride I've made this year is 12.5 miles.

We took off at 6:51 and I followed Blair for a couple hundred yards.  He was at his cruising speed and so I decided I'd be better of going at my normal speed.  I passed him and never saw him again.

I made several brief stops along the route to refill my water bottles and grab some snacks.  I was probably towards the front of the pack.  A saw a few people ahead of me and passed most of them, but there were others that blew right by me and left me in the dust.  I arrived back at the starting point at 9:50.  It took me just under 3 hours to complete the 50 miles.

When I pulled in, a girl runs up to me with a medal and asks if I want the medal now, or do I want to do it again.  Well, I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to do it again.  After a 10 minute stop, I took off and did the entire thing again.  However, this time was different.

1.  The Hills.  Those little hills on the East side of the lake - they grew.  On the first lap, I cruised up these little hills at 16 mph.  The second time - 9 mph was the best I could do.

2.  The Breeze.  On the first lap, As I rounded each of the four major corners, I could tell a distinct shift in the breeze.  The second lap, no matter which way I rode, the wind was in my face.  I don't know how that works, perhaps I should have been riding clockwise instead of counterclockwise.

3.  The Bike Seat.  The final thing that was different on the two laps was the size of my bike seat.  On the first lap, it wasn't bad.  But while I took my ten minute break between laps, I swear that somebody changed the seat on my bike.  This new seat was like a razor blade and I'm sitting on the edge.

All in all though, it was a good ride.  I pulled into the finish at about 1:45.  It took 3 hours for the first lap and 3.75 hours for the second lap.  Although I didn't set any speed records, I feel good with the times and the task accomplished.  Next year, I'll try to get the young men from my ward to come up and "Bike the Bear."

LOTOJA anyone?

Beer and Taxes

I recently received the following story from my brother. The original author is unknown to me, but he certainly hits the mark. I had a hard time determining if this should be posted under Current Events, Finances, or English. I ruled out English, even though it is a well written article. Upon further examination, I ruled out finances - I don't drink beer. But that only leaves Current Events - ah - perfect. Uncle Sam is using the same technique on all of us.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The Beer
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. ‘Since you are all such good customers,’ he said, ‘I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.’ Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so: The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings). The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings). The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings). The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings). The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings). The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.

But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. ‘I only got a dollar out of the $20? declared the sixth man. Then he pointed at the tenth man, ‘but he got $10!’ ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man. ‘I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!’ ‘That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!’ ‘Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison. ‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

The Taxes
And that is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

Are you MATURE?

You know you're getting marvelously mature when................

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
20. The twinkle in you eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

I've had trouble deciding whether this should be a fitness topic or a health topic. Either way, I'm way to familiar with these 28 items.

Anniversary Troubles

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really upset. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE".

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.

I don't know who originally submitted this article. But it's a keeper.