Saturday, December 18, 2010

Sensitivity

The room was full of pregnant women with their spouses. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their wives at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery  that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

She looked at the men in the room, "And gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together -- it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes,"answered the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?

This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I'm Fine

I received this from a friend today.  Yes, I'm doing fine - Hope you are too. 
 
An Idaho farmer named Angus had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
 
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus. 
 
'Didn't you say to the policeman at the scene of the accident, 'I'm  fine?' asked the solicitor. 
 
Angus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the... ' 
  
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?' 
  
Angus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.... '
  
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client, I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. ' 
  
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus' answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.
  
Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. 
  
Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorcycle turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
  
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you  feeling?' 
  
'Now what the heck would you say?'