Relationships - Do I Dare?

I've debated long and hard concerning developing a relationships 101 course.  But what the heck.  Live a little, what's life without taking a little risk.  The following are two short articles from various emails that I've received. 

Those final moments

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?  You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to meet or exceed the following minimums:
1. Personable:  a friend, companion, brother, father
2. Skilled:  a chef, electrician, carpenter, plumber, mechanic, decorator, stylist, pest exterminator, organizer
3. Health Professional:  sexologist, gynecologist, psychologist, psychiatrist, healer
4. Family Oriented:  a good father, listener, tender, strong, understanding, tolerant
5. Solid Character:  sympathetic, warm, attentive, intelligent, funny, creative
6. Provider:   ambitious, prudent, capable, courageous, determined
7. Showable:  very clean, athletic, gallant, true, dependable, passionate, compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
8.  give her compliments regularly, but never look at other girls
9. be very rich and love shopping
10. be honest, but never stress her out

AND AT THE SAME TIME, HE MUST ALSO:
11. give her lots of attention, but expect little himself
12. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
13. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

FINALLY, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
14. Never forget:
     a. * birthdays *
     b. * anniversaries *
     c. * arrangements she makes *
 
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
3. Hand over the remote

To all the women in my life, from my newest granddaughter, to my mother and especially all the female members of my immediate family, am I in trouble?