Politics Anyone?

The following were sent via emails from several different sources.  Enjoy!

- Preacher, Businessman, Bum

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young Men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects-

                  

 1. A Bible

 2. A silver dollar

 3. A bottle of whisky

 4. And a Playboy magazine

                 

'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself. 'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

                 

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

                 

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

                 

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

                 

 And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'

                 

 The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

                 

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table..

                 

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

                 

'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.

                 

'He's gonna run for Congress.'

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How do you starve an  Obama supporter ? 

Hide their food stamps under their work shoes

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Dead Horses

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

 

However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

 

1. Buying a stronger whip.

 

2. Changing riders.

 

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

 

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

 

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

 

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

 

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

 

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

 

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.

 

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of economy than do some other horses.

 

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

 

And of course....

 

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

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And finally, the bumper sticker of the month, perhaps of the year or even the decade.

                If you voted for Obama in '08 to prove you're not a racist, vote for someone else in '12 to prove you're not an idiot.